Boston is Funny » If I had one dream, it would be that there would be no more Homeless people In Boston…

December 15, 2005

If I had one dream, it would be that there would be no more Homeless people In Boston…

Charlie Wrigley wrote this in the early morning:

Because, if I have to see one more I am going to kill ‘em!

At first I felt bad, and I would give them something every day…
But then I stopped, for a few reasons.

Like their positioning:
They have done all of the research. They know where to get you when you are most vulnerable.

I swear there are a group of bums with research assistants, and flow charts and market studies, and power point presentations; well maybe not power point presentations, but maybe one of those projectors, that they use to use in Geometry, that one of the colleges around here threw out, with those transparencies, and there shooting them up onto a wall in some dark alley-way. And the Head guy is doing a tutorial, and answering “Frequently Asked Questions”

“Well Wally, according to this chart, the traffic light at the end of Mass Ave takes the longest in all of Boston, You know, right near the methadone clinic where Sally gets her clean needles. We can really capitalize on people being stuck in their cars waiting for the light to change. Perhaps we could position one of our Rose guys and a couple of News boys. And Jimmy, why don’t you make one of your signs with that nice cardboard, and don’t mail it in like you did last time with that ‘will work for food’ bullshit. Get creative, maybe a war hero, or war veteran theme, and dress the part would you, Sam’s got some good costumes from that one man show he did on Broadway last year.”

They are the same people.

After a while you start to recognize the same people in the same spots day after day.

Bum: Got any change?

Me: What happened to the 45 cents I gave you yesterday? I thought you’d be back on your feet by now! You need to get yourself a financial advisor because you’re terrible with money! You really gotta think long term, Blue Chip stuff, Low risk…

Do you have any friends that you have lent money to?

Could you imagine if they asked to borrow money from you every single day, forever?

him: Jimmy, can I borrow twenty bucks?
me: Sure.
Next day
him: Jimmy can I borrow twenty bucks?
me: Hey! I gave you money yesterday, oh alright, here!
Next Day
Him: Jimmy can I borrow twenty bucks…
me: No! And my name isn’t Jimmy!

Boston Sucks!

Filed under: Boston Sucks