December 27, 2005

Return Dash!

Charlie Wrigley wrote this in the early afternoon:

Get tons of shitty presents?

Get on down to fi-LENE’S.

Short or cash? Return that shit Jack! Why fill up your closet with sweaters that will never see the light of day?

If your feeling charitable, give those ugly digs to a homeless person. They don’t care about fashion, and neither does your aunt, apparantly.

Did you get a frankinsence and mur scented Yankee candle? I did! That is an automatic re-gift or re-turn. Jesus Christ was the last person to get mur as a gift and if you ever pull that shit again, I whip out my hammer, nails and a cross fool.

Christmas is a season of returning. Get into the spirit! You also get to see how cheap your loved ones really are. You get to find out exactly what you are worth to them, to the cent.

If I have to go to T.J. Max to return your gift, we may never speak again.

Of course, if T.J. Max ever decides to advertise here… then I should be so lucky to get a gift from such a fine establishment.

* Filed under: Today in Boston

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