January 25, 2006

My Back!

Charlie Wrigley wrote this in the late evening:

Did you throw out your back shoveling snow like I did?

Sick and tired of these cold winters?

Do your part to accelerate global warming! We’ll have beautiful weather all year round, and the only foreseeable backlash, are just a few disasters like hurricanes and huge tidal waves! The world is coming to an end soon anyway - but probably not in our lifetime, so fuck it here are some tips that you’re probably already doing, I’m just advising you to do more of it!

Here you go:

-Keep driving your military grade SUV as you already are, but when you’re not driving around, leave the car running.

-Burn coal as a symbol for your love of America instead of hanging a flag! Coal is cheap! Use it instead of electricity! And for heat. And for cooking. Coal is cheap!

-Write your local senator to have the coal burning power plants to step it up a notch. Quit being so lazy union workers! Burn more coal. Coal is cheap!

Backlash, smacklash.

Warmer Ocean? Fine by me, Nantasket beach is way to cold. My feet are so numb from that chilly water; I can’t even feel the syringes I’m stepping on. Oh, and keep polluting with your garbage while we’re on the subject. I’m not sure if it will help global warming but it sure can’t hurt!

Droughts, floods, intense hurricanes… an easy trade-off for sixty degree winters folks. Maybe it’s a little bit harsh, but I think New Englanders might like a little sun-tan weather in these short sunlit comfort food days.

* Filed under: Today in Boston

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