February 27, 2006
How to Steal an Interview from a Magician
This story is true*
Who knows how these things get started? This time it began in the bathroom of a StarBucks in Brookline Village. I’m taking care of my business when I looked over to the sink hoping to find something to read. There was a business card, oddly illuminated by the spotlight beam of the trendy track lighting in said establishment’s hopper.
I picked up the card. It reads, “Magic for All Occasions.” On the top right-hand corner of the card is a bird (in hindsight, probably a dove) eclipsing an orb; maybe the sun or the moon. His name on the bottom left is two first names: Daniel John. The right-hand corner has a phone number and a Hotmail address.
The back of the card is much more interesting.
In handwritten scribble it reads:
½ hr show $275.00*
¾ hr show $400.00*
*Live animals cost extra.
This includes: Doves, Parakeets, (“&” has been whited out, replaced by “or’) Rabbits.
What to do with this little golden nugget? There are just too many unanswered questions to just clip it to the fridge and forget about it.
I have to interview this guy. I have to interview him without him knowing he’s being interviewed. I shot him an email, playing it cool:
I came across your card today. I have a few questions. Would you feel comfortable answering a few by email?
Thanks!
And I meant Thanks-exclamation point. Maybe for the first time in my life I was excited enough to warrant an exclamation point! Maybe for the last time ever! So the email was sent, and the waiting game began.
A few hours later I got an email from Daniel John. I was very excited? Strike that – I was very excited! Here’s what he had to say, unedited:
Hi Charlie,
Can you refresh my memory and tell me how you know me? It depends on the type of questions you wish to ask. Let me know what the questions are so that I can make an evaluation on whether to answer them by e-mail or not. I assume the questions are MAGIC related. I’ll try to help you out if I can.
Regards,
Daniel.
Whew! I thought for a second there he wouldn’t answer my questions. Then I got to the MAGIC part. Of course my questions will be about MAGIC, dude! You’re a fucking real live MAGICIAN. You pull live rabbits out of hats for a living (apparently that costs extra, which hopefully we’ll get to); what other possible topic related questions do you think I would ask? What your favorite color is? Your thoughts on the impact of European portrait artists of the 17th century on early provincial American artists? No dude, I want to know about fucking MAGIC!
Figuring I had the go ahead, I fired off some questions. He answered some, but not all, so I asked him some more along with the ones he didn’t answer until I was satisfied, then edited it to make it read like an interview. That, my friends, is how you steal an interview from a magician. And here it is:
CW: I found your card and was wondering if you would answer a few questions?
DJ: Where did you find my business card?
CW: I actually found it at Starbucks in Brookline. Someone had left it there. But my wife and I are looking to host a party for some friends and we thought a magic show might be perfect… We had this conversation just a few days ago… Thought it may be some sort of sign, or destiny… you know? Tell me… where did you learn magic?
DJ: I first learned magic when I was a kid. The magic shop that I used to go to was frequented by many famous magicians. I watched their techniques and presentations as a guide, but I really learned most of the magic by myself by spending a lot of time practicing.
CW: I’d ask you which “famous magicians” frequented that bath house, er… joke shop, but isn’t “famous magician” an oxymoron? That’s a rhetorical question… Moving on. What are the types of venues you’ve played?
DJ: I’ve played many different types of venues, but mostly nightclubs and on stage doing my dove act.
CW: I saw your rates on your card… are those rates reasonable?
DJ: My rates are the going rate for a professional magician. You must decide if they are reasonable. It depends on your budget and the quality of performer you wish to hire.
CW: I see, so the burden is on me to decide if you’re a rip-off. How much extra are the live animals?
DJ: My dove act costs an additional $50.
CW: Do you use dead animals for free???
DJ: For you, I’ll throw in any dead animals for free if you wish.
CW: Well played, sir. What are some of your tricks?
DJ: I produce the doves in various ways. For example, I turn a rose into a silk handkerchief, then I gather the silk up in my hands and out comes a beautiful white dove (Doves are much smaller than pigeons). Most audiences like dove magic.
CW: Thank you for that little fact about dove and pigeons, but Jesus man, you’re really pushing that Dove act. You must be very proud of it, but don’t they shit all over the place?
DJ: The doves are not a problem; they won’t mess in your house. I don’t feed them for a few hours before the show and they are trained not to fly around.
CW: That was my mom’s rearing philosophy too! Weird. Any other tricks you do not involving doves??
DJ: I also do many other different effects, such as card manipulations, cut and restored rope, silk magic and some comedy. All my material is in good taste and won’t offend anyone.
CW: Somehow, I think anyone with good taste would be offended. Maybe it would be better If you just did your thing on stage and shut the fuck up about it.
DJ: Some of my act is silent, done to music which I provide. I suggest that I perform for about 45 minutes; that seems to be the optimum time for a house party.
CW: It would be in my home with 15-20 guests (people in their 30’s mostly). The house is good-sized and very nice, but how much room would you need? And you wouldn’t leave a mess behind in my beautiful home would you? (Note: I live in a shitty apartment and have no friends in their thirties)
DJ: I don’t do “box magic” i.e. tricks involving large apparatus, and I won’t leave a mess behind. Perhaps we could meet in advance and I could do a little magic for you and your wife by way of an audition.
CW: Yeah, right – like your last “audition” in the Starbucks bathroom? No thanks buddy. Besides my wife and I love “messy box magic” while we fucking hate “doves.”
*Only the magician’s first, first name and my questions/responses have been altered.
Filed under: Today in Boston
2 Responses to “How to Steal an Interview from a Magician”
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March 2nd, 2006 at 9:13 am
[…] Charlie Wrigley on Boston is Funny found a Magician’s card in the men’s bathroom at the Starbucks in Brookline, and hilarity ensued I came across your card today. I have a few questions. Would you feel comfortable answering a few by email? Thanks! … Hi Charlie, Can you refresh my memory and tell me how you know me? It depends on the type of questions you wish to ask. Let me know what the questions are so that I can make an evaluation on whether to answer them by e-mail or not. I assume the questions are MAGIC related. I’ll try to help you out if I can. Regards, Daniel. […]
May 7th, 2006 at 9:49 am
I’ve actually been interested in magic now for about one week and I’ve come across some amazing card sleight-of-hand tricks on the internet. If this site allowed it I would send you some links, but you can probably do the google search yourself and I reccommend it.