May 17, 2006
Q & A
Q. How many bloggers are blogging at Starbucks right now?
A. All of them.
Q. Why do the old ladies at Starbucks look like my late grandmother?
A. All old ladies look the same.
Q. Why are those two girls in the corner always studying for a biology test?
A. Beats me. They always fail.
Q. Last time I was there the girl next across form me was met by a total stranger who said he loves her site. My question is, is the ‘I love your site’ to bloggers the equivalent to the ‘I love your work’ said to actors?
A. Dunno, I don’t like your site and the only actor’s work I like is the late Don Rickles.
Q. Don Rickles is still alive.
A. Really?
Q. Yeah, I just heard Stamos mention his 80th birthday party on Stern.
A. Oh. Well I love Rickles work. He’s quick with a joke, or to light up your smoke…
Q. On that Billy Joel kick again?
A. Yeah, the man’s a genius.
Q. It finally stopped raining, huh.
A. Really? You want to talk about the weather?
Q. No. I’m just a little nervous. This is my first time.
A. Don’t be nervous, I’ve done this a million times.
Q. Maybe you’re right…
A. Of course I am… Ok. Go ahead…
Q. Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been 25 years and these are my sins…
A. Yes, my son?
Q. Wow, 25 years. I’ve done lots of stuff. Let’s see I swore, stole gum, stole some money from my brother, committed adultery… committed a lot of adultery…
A. (ahem)
Q. lied about committing a lot of adultery to impress a priest…
A. That’s better. Anything else?
Q. Oh, yeah. I disobeyed my parents, stole a pair of panties at a party, looked at porn, masturbated once…
A. (ahem)
Q. Masturbated a lot. Lied about only masturbating once. Got in a fight, killed a Peruvian boy, played with matches, uh…
A. Wait. What was the last one?
Q. Played with matches?
A. No before that?
Q. Got in a fight?
A. After that!
Q. Killed a Peruvian Boy?
A. Yes. Murder is a capital crime; I have to report this…
Q. No, it’s not like that. It was totally a vengeance thing, it’s cool.
A. Oh, I see.
Q. Eye for an eye.
A. Ok, that’s cool. Anything else?
Q. Um, grand larceny, armed robbery… Never raped anyone, so that should be a check in that column… Made fun of a fat girl. Is that a sin?
A. No, but it certainly isn’t nice… How fat was she?
Q. She was so fat that when she fell, I didn’t laugh, but the ground was cracking up!
A. Good one!
Q. Thanks. I stole it from Yo Momma. Is that a sin?
A. Yes.
Q. I think that’s it. For these and all my sins, I am heartily sorry.
A. Ok, you are forgiven, for your penance say Two Hail Mary’s and an Our Father.
Q. Cool. How do those go again?
*Special thanks to Quinn the sinner and Andy the Priest!
Filed under: Today in Boston
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